When the Engine Doesn’t Stop

Hey friends,

This week — I wanted to talk about what happens when the engine doesn’t stop, even after the race is over.

You know that feeling after an intense period — exams, deadlines, big projects — when you tell yourself: “I’ll rest after this is done.” But then, when it’s finally done… you can’t really switch off. That’s where I’ve been these past days.

For months, I had one big objective in mind: pass my federal exam. My days were structured, my thoughts focused, my schedule tight. Now that it’s behind me, I thought rest would come naturally. Instead, I find myself chasing the same rhythm, as if slowing down would make me “fall behind.”

The invisible pressure

Medicine doesn’t exactly stop. Research still come, projects keep rolling, deadlines creep in. And there’s this low-key fear that if you take your foot off the pedal, you’ll get buried under the next wave. It’s the classic paradox: you crave rest, but resting makes you anxious.

I’ve realized this isn’t just about medicine. It’s about identity. When you’re used to functioning at 120%, slowing down feels like losing part of yourself. It feels unnatural — almost like guilt disguised as laziness.

The art of continuing without burning out

So, how do you deal with this? I don’t think the answer is to fully stop (at least not always). Stopping everything when the train is going full speed feels impossible. Instead, maybe the trick is to shift gears rather than slam the brakes.

Because here’s the catch: if you never stop, the engine eventually forces you to stop. But if you can keep going when it’s really hard, you sometimes discover a new gear you didn’t know you had. Growth often hides in those difficult stretches — the moments when concentration comes back in waves, and suddenly you’re in flow again for another two or three hours.

The ongoing experiment

I don’t have this figured out yet. Honestly, I’m still restless, still checking my to-do list more than I should. But I’m experimenting with lighter rhythms — not dropping the ball, just carrying it differently. Almost like pushing the car forward without burning the engine.

Maybe it’s less about “vacation mode” vs “work mode” and more about weaving both — intensity and recovery — into the same fabric.

If you’ve been through something similar — exams, a huge project, or just a season of overwork — I’d love to hear how you handled the “after.” Did you manage to stop? Or did you just… continue, in another way?

I hope this gave you something to think about !

Julien 🍀